Have you ever tried to identify your “ideal” type — the kind of person to whom you are consistently attracted? Your description, no doubt, was somewhat lacking because “type” is a blend of conscious and subconscious qualities that you personally find appealing. It’s as much about feelings as it is about thought. The person just seems “right” for you. Words can’t adequately express the connection you sense.
But what’s your history with dating relationships? Would you say you consistently make good choices or is your life marked by disappointment after disappointment? If you want to have a healthy, positive, ideal soul mate relationship, you’ll need to have the right priorities for selecting your type of partner.
People are multifaceted beings with varying qualities — some better than others. Your current “type” of partner excels in the areas you now value most. If you want a soul mate who is God’s best for you, the criteria you use must coincide with His. You must be willing to make adjustments in your value system where they are needed.
Every person has external and internal qualities. The external are easily perceived but the inner qualities require careful observation over time. Unfortunately, too much emphasis may sometimes be placed on the superficial at the expense of the deeper qualities that really make relationships work.
When the prophet Samuel was sent by God to anoint a new king of Israel to replace Saul, God cautioned him, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV)
Physical characteristics, personality mannerisms, and reputation relate to the outward appearance. Character, purpose, and spiritual maturity reflect what’s in the heart.
The correct priorities, from most important to least valued, should be:
- Spiritual maturity
- Purpose for life
- Character qualities
- Reputation
- Personality type
- Physical appearance
Obviously it would be great if each of these qualities scored a “10.” But that is unlikely. So it’s vital that spiritual maturity, purpose and character are highly considered and are not given a lower priority than physical appearance, personality, and reputation.
Spiritual maturity defines purpose and shapes character. Character establishes reputation and refines personality. And personality illuminates physical appearance. In the right sequence, it all gets better.
When you think about past relationships you’ve had, arrange these six qualities in order of strongest to weakest for each of those people. Do you see the same pattern repeated when you compare them? This reveals the values and priorities you have used in your past decision-making. Do they reflect God’s priorities?
If you have had your share of bad relationships and you don’t want more disappointments, you must allow God to change your priorities and establish a new desirable type. Otherwise the pattern will continue. If you want God’s best, you must embrace His priorities. After all, He is the One who designed you and is most committed to your well-being.
Related Articles
>> God Designed You
>> Are You Compatible?
>> Got “Oneness” Potential?
