What happens, deep inside your heart, when you think about Valentine’s Day? How do you feel when you walk into a store and “LOVE” shouts at you from all the displays? Do you get a warm loving feeling?
I have not responded with either love or warmth. Valentine’s Day has represented sadness, pain, and a very strong desire to get out of the store as quickly as possible. After all, what exactly is a person supposed to feel when a letter from her husband – and one from his girlfriend – are received and the date at the top of both letters is February 14?
Did I just hear you say, “What?” It’s true. Twenty-five years of marriage ended and I spent the next 10 years scheduling my “yearly” exams on Valentine’s Day or as close to it as possible. Emotional Pain = Physical Pain. If you don’t know what’s involved in a “yearly” – please ask a female friend. She will explain “pain”! (For those with a sense of humor amidst pain – please feel free to chuckle.)
I felt sorry for me. Valentine’s Day was all about me and my pain. How well do you wear self-pity? I wore it well – but it didn’t “fit” as I grew in forgiveness. I knew I could not carry self-pity into any future relationship. With extremely wise and gifted counsel from those who truly care for me, I finally made the choice to release my self-pity to the Lord.
If you are experiencing similar relational valleys, please be encouraged! The journey is difficult, yes; however, with forgiveness there is freedom. With freedom, we can enter a new relationship without self-pity.
In Philippians 4:8, we are reminded, “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” (NAS).
Where have you chosen to focus your mind this Valentine’s Day? I would like to encourage you to set your mind on those people in your life who are helping you live through your pain. They are the ones we can shout “LOVE” to! In doing this, we begin the process of living in freedom.
With freedom, we can look forward to celebrating holidays like Valentine’s Day. For me, this included Easter too. Did I mention the divorce was final on Good Friday?
May the Lord help us all to acknowledge and release our pain so that we may truly enter another relationship with freedom.
R.K.
