“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us,” wrote A. W. Tozer. Could that be true? We think it very well may be. For if your view of God is distorted severely enough, it could ruin your spiritual health, your relationships, your decision making—even your whole life. And on the other hand, if your view of God is correct, then you know Who you are dealing with in the spiritual realm and can learn how to relate to Him properly.
This is why we believe that, if you want to make yourself ready for God’s best in marriage, you not only need a biblical worldview (as we discussed in the last blog); you also need what we might call a biblical “Godview.” You need to know who God really is. Without a true perspective on God, you could never have a true perspective on yourself and your love life desires.
So, what is an accurate view of God?
In one sense, it’s a mystery. We can never fully plumb the depths of God’s nature and character. Quite possibly, throughout eternity to come we’ll be learning more and more about God and never getting to the end of Him.
In another sense, though, we can know who God is—the basics, anyway. The Bible gives us a broad and consistent view of Him, conveying the key things we need to know. Here are three absolutely fundamental points about God for people who are seeking His will for marriage.
God Is in Charge
God made the universe. He made you and us and everybody. He’s the only God and Creator; everything else is His creation. He quite naturally holds all authority over us and has every intention of using it. It makes sense and it’s right.
But we have a way of resisting God’s authority, don’t we? We may pay lip service to His sovereignty, but down deep we want to be sovereigns over our own lives. We want to be free. We want to make decisions for ourselves. We want to be in charge.
Well, we’ve got to get over it! We need to recognize that God’s authority is unlimited and therefore submit to it. More than that—welcome it. Because God can handle being in charge. We can’t.
The prophet Isaiah addressed this very conflict in our nature by referring to the practice of casting a clay pot. He posed this question (and here “clay” = us, while “potter” = God):
Does the clay say to the potter,
“What are you making?” (Isaiah 45:9)
Well, actually, the clay might say that very thing—meaning we might foolishly presume to question what God is doing in our lives. But that isn’t what we should be saying.
Later in his prophecies, Isaiah provided the response we ought to have:
O Lord, you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand. (Isaiah 64:8)
There’s the right tone of acceptance and submission to the entirely proper authority of God over our lives.
Jesus modeled this attitude when He got to the most anguishing moment of His life—praying in the Garden of Gethsemane about His impending crucifixion. He desperately wanted to avoid this unjust death and the separation from His Father that it would cause. Do you remember what He prayed? “Not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).
Have you perhaps been resisting what God has done with regard to your marital dreams so far in your life? Have you maybe been trying to make things happen even against what seemed to be the will of God? Look, God is not a genie existing to grant your wishes. He’s the King of the universe. So we’re not trying to be harsh or unkind, just accurate, when we say this: whatever God chooses to do, He has the full right to do, whether it’s fulfilling to you or not.
Jacob probably didn’t like it when he had to wait seven years to marry Rachel (Genesis 29). But he did it.
Not my will, but Yours be done.
The lovers in the Song of Songs were feeling rather, um, urgent. But they accepted the need “not to awaken love until the time is right” (Song of Songs 2:7, nlt).
Not my will, but Yours be done.
Daniel probably didn’t like being made a eunuch, unable to ever marry or have children (Isaiah 39:7). But he accepted it and lived an amazing life of faithfulness to God anyway.
Not my will, but Yours be done.
Those were all real people, dealing with the same kinds of feelings we have. Their lives, and the godly principles they lived by, are instructive for us. So we’ve got a radical—and unsettling—idea to try out on you: what if your love life (or lack thereof) is not primarily about your happiness but primarily about the plan of God? Think about that. And think about how real your commitment to God the King is.
And then think about something else:
God Is Loving
God Almighty is not only the sovereign ruler of the universe; He’s also your loving Father. He knows your desires and loves to give you good gifts.
Yet, just as we have a way of deliberately ignoring God’s authoritative kingship, so we have a way of inadvertently forgetting His loving Fatherhood. Jesus knew this and so gave us a stunning reminder: “If you, . . . though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11).
He wants to give you good things. And as we have said, if you make yourself ready to receive God’s best in marriage, the chances are very good that He will give such a marriage to you at just the right time. No, He’s not a genie, and it’s possible that He won’t give you the kind of marriage you want. But even if that’s the case, it’s still all for the sake of His greater plan. He’s still working out all things (even your lack of a marriage) for good to you who love Him, you who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Maybe you don’t believe that God is a good and generous Father, wanting to give you what’s good for you. Maybe you don’t think you deserve His best. Think again! “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights” (James 1:17).
God Knows What’s Best
When our good and loving God withholds what we want (a marriage, say), that’s when we have to trust in yet one more important truth in a biblical “Godview”: in a targeted and personal way, He knows what’s best for us.
Let’s consider a few facts about God’s knowledge.
- He knows each us perfectly.
O Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. (Psalm 139:1-3)
- He knows everybody else perfectly too.
From heaven the Lord looks down
and sees all mankind;
from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth—
he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do. (Psalm 33:14-15)
- He knows what’s coming down the road for us.
Only I can tell you the future
before it even happens. (Isaiah 46:10, nlt)
On this website, we’re talking about getting ready for God’s best. Well, we’d better recognize that only God really understands what “best” is. And so only He can reliably lead us toward it. Why, then, would we ever insist on making decisions on our own?
Your “Godview”
God is King of all, possessing the authority to do whatever He wants. He is a loving Father who desires to give His children good gifts. He is an all-knowing Guide through the uncertainties of life to the best blessings He has in store. He is all these things—and more! This is the God you must learn to know better and better if you want to be in a position to fulfill His highest desires for your life. His qualities will give you a balanced view of your love life desires.
If it’s true that what comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you, then make sure you’re thinking about God as He truly is.
