Did you ever do a pencil maze as a child? If so, you remember using your pencil to trace a line from an entry point to (you hoped!) the goal at the center of the maze. But if you traced your line down the wrong part of the maze, you wound up at a dead end and had to go back and start over again, maybe only to come up against yet another dead end. Frustrating, wasn’t it?
We want to help you avoid the same kind of wasted effort in your pursuit of a godly marriage. We want to make sure you’re on the right path to start with. You see, before you can meaningfully ask the question of whether you’re ready to receive God’s best in marriage, you have to determine if you are even a candidate for God’s best in the first place. Let us suggest five tests you can give yourself to find out.
Test #1: Do you know God personally through Jesus Christ?
Before you answer this one, stop to think about it seriously. Consider this warning from the lips of Jesus:
Not everyone who calls out to me, “Lord! Lord!” will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, “Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.” But I will reply, “I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.” (Matthew 7:21-23)
In other words, thinking you have a connection with Jesus and doing religious stuff, even really impressive religious stuff, doesn’t guarantee that you have eternal life. You have eternal life only if you really know Jesus, as demonstrated through doing God’s will.
Now answer: do you or don’t you know God for real? If so, that’s wonderful. If not, why not change your answer right now? You can begin a relationship with God today through humbling yourself, turning to Jesus in faith, and committing your whole life to Him.
Test #2: Is God number one in your life?
It’s been said that getting saved isn’t the purpose of biblical faith any more than admissions is the purpose of a university. Getting saved is just the beginning. After that comes—or at least should come—a whole life of knowing and serving God.
Jesus said that you can know His true followers by their “fruit”—what they do with their lives (Matthew 7:15-20). Godly people, though not perfect, do godly things. There ought to be something visible, something tangible about their lives if they are truly following Him.
If we put anything else besides God as number one in our lives, we are making an idol of it. For single people, one of these potential idols is wanting a mate. Hopefully this isn’t true for you. But we’ve known people who were so focused on finding a husband or wife that they were ready to ignore God and His teachings. Is this what God wants of us? (For that matter, is this what our hoped-for godly mate would want to see in us?)
Make sure your priorities are straight. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).
Test #3: Are you learning more about who God is?
Your relationship with God can’t be all God intends, and therefore you can’t be in a position to receive His best, unless you know who He is. So you have to be studying the Bible—the book that God inspired to teach us about Himself.
One great way to learn more about God is to study His attributes, which are the qualities that define what He is like. Which of His attributes is intriguing to you? Which do you not know much about? Embark on a personal Bible study to get to know God better in these key areas.
Test #4: Are you developing a more intimate relationship with God?
Head knowledge of God from the Bible is important. But so is heart knowledge—what you learn about God by living with a heart open to Him day after day. Have you perhaps lost your first love for God (Revelation 2:4)? Get it back by restoring habits to your life that will rekindle that love.
Pursue God. Just as you pursue a person of the opposite sex you have an interest in, so you should pursue God. What are you willing to invest in your pursuit of God? Seek Him, draw near to Him, wait on Him, and He will reveal Himself to you.
Trust God. God is completely trustworthy. What are you willing to entrust to God today because you have faith in His character, capabilities, and love for you?
Enjoy God. Our God is invisible, but His daily involvement in our lives and presence is obvious to a discerning observer. How has God recently demonstrated His love and goodness to you? Thank Him and revel in His love.
Test #5: Are you serving God and seeing Him bless your service?
Putting God first, getting to know Him better, developing an intimate relationship with Him—these are all crucial to having a quality relationship with God. But there is at least one more major area to consider. It’s what you do with your life as a result of your connection to God.
A part of this service is obedience to His commands. God has guidelines and commands for us and expects us to follow them. We move toward holiness by living according to His expressed will in moral matters.
But there’s another, more adventurous part of serving God—finding and fulfilling your personal mission in life. God may have gifted you to evangelize others within the business community. He may have designed you to nurture young children. The possibilities are endless. But whatever your God-given purpose in life, fulfilling it is one way of becoming the man or woman He intended you to be. And thus being a candidate for receiving His best.
So what about you? Are you on the right path to receiving God’s best? If you not only know God through faith in His Son but also are actively cultivating your relationship with Him through whatever means you can, then you are!
