He was nice. I liked him. When I started to date Daryl, I thought that he was the one God had planned for me.
We had been dating for about six months when we decided it would be great for us if I moved in with him. Neither one of us were Christians. I had my life under control and didn’t need anyone to tell me what to do. So, I moved in. It was great.
Then I started feeling guilty about living together. I wanted to move out and get my own place until we got married. We needed to decide where our relationship was heading. Daryl had the best of both worlds. He had his cake and was getting to eat it as well. He had 2 small children that were with us every weekend and on holidays. I did all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Why would he want to get married. He didn’t need a wife. He had a babysitter and maid. And he also had sex whenever he wanted it.
After he realized I was serious about moving out, he decided he wanted to get married. So, I stayed. We got married but not in a church — not under God’s provision.
After about a year of marriage, Daryl’s behavior started to change. He was acting very weird. He didn’t want to be with me. Things went from bad to worse. I told myself that I was not going to leave or file for divorce. This was my second time around and I wanted to make it work. I did not want another failure in life.
It was during this time that God got my attention. I knew that I was not going to be able to get through this trial that was about to get more intense without some other type of help. This was way beyond my control or power to cope.
I surrendered my life to God. That was the smartest thing I have ever done in my life. I started going to church, involved myself with girlfriends and bible studies. These women showered with me with so much love. God had placed the right people in my life at the right time for a reason. But my husband had no interest in a relationship with Jesus. I continued my walk with the Lord. There was no going back at this point.
I continued to stay in the marriage. I prayed that God would heal my marriage. I wanted my husband changed and healed from his adultery. I became obsessed with Daryl’s problems and his issues. It was idolatry because that became the all-consuming priority of my life, even above God.
After 8 years of marriage, we finally got divorced. It was a very difficult time for me, but God got me through it. Now, I look at dating and marriage from God’s viewpoint, not mine or the world’s.
G. A.
